User talk:Cobalt/Archive 4
Ah First tbh. Cobalt keeps moving my comments south :( — Warw/Wick 10:59, 28 May 2008 (UTC) Nice and clean, like a sheet of snow not trodden on by any child, nor pissed on by any dog-- - (Talk/ ) 10:57, 28 May 2008 (UTC) :First — Warw/Wick 10:57, 28 May 2008 (UTC) ::spam?-- - (Talk/ ) 10:58, 28 May 2008 (UTC) :::that was not first! you are moving YOUR comments NORTH, but i cba doing anything about it so - yeah.-- - (Talk/ ) 11:02, 28 May 2008 (UTC) ::::::::::::5th Spam?... 6th?!!... and moving MY comments SOUTHEAST! * and raising my left rear leg in a purposeful manner * -'Havoc '(Talk| ) 14:08, 28 May 2008 (UTC) (Reset indent) I'm so GQ! - Havoc (Talk| ) 19:40, 29 May 2008 (UTC) :Rofl, well done xD, perhaps theres a future in that idiot-mag career for you afterall, havoc ;p-- - (Talk/ ) 18:12, 1 June 2008 (UTC) get well soon, Cobie. ): 19:36, 1 June 2008 (UTC) :lol, your concern is much appreciated, especially since my poll up there indicates that nobody knows who i am, and i am hardly a regular fixture on your talkpage - all of which leads me to wonder what suddenly lead you to read my userpage in the firstplace, considering i can count the contribs i made over the last few days on one hand (i can hardly count them on two hands regardless, though xD) so im not appearing in RC much either, but thanks anyway :P, wow, that took far too long to write, the amount of times i pressed Y instead of T and had to backspace is unbelievable-- - (Talk/ ) 13:05, 2 June 2008 (UTC) ::Cobie? ROFL! Oh, how sweet! Je vous souhaite un prompt rétablissement, mon Cobie!!! Mwahahahaaa - Havoc (Talk| ) 14:45, 2 June 2008 (UTC) :::whats french for "go fuck yourself" xD-- - (Talk/ ) 11:59, 4 June 2008 (UTC) ::::Don't know, they never taught me that in school - or I wasn't paying attention o_O ...well okay, I never really paid attention... - Havoc (Talk| ) 22:34, 4 June 2008 (UTC) :::::You're on my watchlist, Cobe. And, Havoc, tu es un leche-cul. :O! 22:39, 4 June 2008 (UTC) ::::::Wow, I'm on Maui's watchlist - les prestige! Also, according to freetranslation.com, "tu es un leche-cul" is "you are a licked bottom" - harsh :P-- - (Talk/ ) 09:57, 5 June 2008 (UTC) :::::::It was the only French insult I could think up on the spot. :x And I have all of my friends on my watchlist. 17:23, 5 June 2008 (UTC) ::::::::A licked bottom?!! At least I'm, er, clean?!! - Havoc (Talk| ) 21:38, 5 June 2008 (UTC) Quick! Everybody spam his page full while he is unable to participate! - Havoc (Talk| ) 19:49, 2 June 2008 (UTC) When you blow your nose, in what direction do you vent the exhalation? Upward, over the bridge of the nose Downward, toward the mouth To either side I hold the tissue down all over and blow a hole through it What the fuck? 22:38, 4 June 2008 (UTC) SRSLY....what. tha. fuck!?-- - (Talk/ ) 18:09, 5 June 2008 (UTC) Which is better? Pirates or Ninjas? No, really.-- - (Talk/ ) 18:46, 30 June 2008 (UTC) :Pirates. --- -- (s)talkpage 18:52, 30 June 2008 (UTC) ::Btw, except one Ninja: The guy from Ninja Gaiden II; he pwnz faces. --- -- (s)talkpage 18:52, 30 June 2008 (UTC) :::But what about the guy off N!? - surely he pwnz more faces than anyone else has pwned faces ever!-- - (Talk/ ) 19:10, 30 June 2008 (UTC) ::::Ah, ye. That guy is also a pwnsome ninja :P But he cant drain more blood from an enemy than the enemy originally had, unlike Ninja Gaiden II :P --- -- (s)talkpage 10:35, 1 July 2008 (UTC) :::::You all are wrong. Altair from Assassin's Creed is the best ninja assassin. -- [[User:Isk8|''I~sk8]] (T/ 19:50, 9 July 2008 (UTC) ::::::Bah, hes not a good ninja, he just has inept foes who lose track of him the instant he sits on a bench. If everyone was so unobservant i would rule the world by now :-|-- - (Talk/ ) 19:54, 9 July 2008 (UTC) Mai codung iz bett'r here you use nowiki tags. Fael. Look here: :: *Omg* Muchos easier :P --- -- (s)talkpage 19:47, 9 July 2008 (UTC) :::oh fork orf with your stupid space coding!-- - (Talk/ ) 19:52, 9 July 2008 (UTC) ::::Space coding is out of this world! (seriously, you asked for it) --- -- (s)talkpage 23:12, 9 July 2008 (UTC) :::::Mah comments be above both of yo phail codings. PossessedLinebeck 23:19, 9 July 2008 (UTC) ::::::Yes viper, i ''was expecting some kind of god-awful space-pun, there arent any prizes-- - (Talk/ ) 18:01, 10 July 2008 (UTC) GW:SIGN Apparently, your image is too large — Powersurge360Violencia 00:07, 11 July 2008 (UTC) :Thats ridiculous, the whole reason for the size limit is so it does not disrupt text layout, who cares if its resized to the right size in the signature or wether the image itself is the right size - i say the policy is flawed-- - (Talk/ ) 19:19, 11 July 2008 (UTC) ::Fight the power! — Powersurge360Violencia 23:04, 11 July 2008 (UTC) :::I assume that there is some technical reason that makes interally resizing images undesirable, but I sure as heck don't know it. Maybe Dr ishmael or PanSola or someone like that could share their knowledge with us. 23:07, 11 July 2008 (UTC) ::::The thing I don't understand is that if it's something important enough to have a clause in the policy about it, then why has he been able to get away with it unnoticed for 2 months and some change. — Powersurge360Violencia 23:22, 11 July 2008 (UTC) :::::If you look at the actual image URL http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/gw/images/thumb/4/41/Cobalt6.jpg/50px-Cobalt6.jpg you see that Mediawiki makes the resized version and caches it. From a technical and performance standpoint it's as if Cobalt had resized it himself and uploaded it. --◄mendel► 23:33, 11 July 2008 (UTC) ::::::Just point-blank info there, or were you trying to make a point? I can't tell if you're for or against, or what exactly is going on with that statement. — Powersurge360Violencia 23:42, 11 July 2008 (UTC) :::::::I think he means it doesn't matter, but doesn't really form an opinion on anything. So, ye, PB Info. --- -- (s)talkpage 00:35, 12 July 2008 (UTC) ::::::::What does "PB Info" mean? My opinion is that I can't see a reason for the image itself to be smaller, because Cobalt's code uses the cached smaller image. So if you argue "Cobalt should use a small image", he is already doing that (albeit indirectly), so no need to change. --◄mendel► 08:17, 12 July 2008 (UTC) ::::::::: "PB info" was repeating Powersurge's "Just point-blank info " comment, but I was too lazy to type it out completely. --- -- (s)talkpage 12:26, 12 July 2008 (UTC) ::::::::::See, i think that Mendel would know about these things, master of coding that he is and as such if he says it isn't making any difference and no admin or wikia staff people start leaving threatening messages AND if nobody else of coding expertise furnishes a valid reason why resizing my sig through primitive code magic is a problem then i think i'll leave it for now, or, as Powersurge put it, continue to "fight the power" :P I thought it might raise some similar problem along the lines of the issues with using non-sub stringed templates for things such as Template:Unsigned - but apparently not, and i've been using this for many months now without objections, so - yeah.-- - (Talk/ ) 16:18, 13 July 2008 (UTC) :::::::::::My secret membership with the abbreviation police allows me to interject that "subst:" stands for "substitute", not "substring". "Substring" is usually abbreviated "sub", as in ( ). --◄mendel► 21:44, 13 July 2008 (UTC) Where are you? Are you trying to draw attention to your underused talkpage in an attempt to generate even more archives? no? On an unrelated note, i just noticed through accident that if you click and drag the buttons over the edit box it puts the image URL into the edit, like so: http://images.wikia.com/common/releases_200807.2/skins/common/images/button_sig.png and displays the image as an image without wiki coding tags - wunderbar-- - (Talk/ ) 19:00, 13 July 2008 (UTC) :Duh... It loads from the link. There's a whitelist for which sites allow direct linking like that. Photobucket isn't on it, tho. Dunno which are, besides Wikia. Should be listed somewhere on Central. --- -- (s)talkpage 19:03, 13 July 2008 (UTC) ::Oh your just jealous because YOU haven't made any discoveries today! http://images.wikia.com/common/releases_200807.2/skins/common/images/button_media.png ::hmph-- - (Talk/ ) 19:09, 13 July 2008 (UTC) :::I discovered they closed a path in Snake's Dance. You could go "off map", and walk on this huuuge ledge spanning from North through, like, halfway South. It was so awesome, the view was great. --- -- (s)talkpage 19:11, 13 July 2008 (UTC) ::::Nobody likes a gloater-- - (Talk/ ) 19:12, 13 July 2008 (UTC) :::::Everyone loves Gloat, tho. --- -- (s)talkpage 19:14, 13 July 2008 (UTC) ::::::Judging by people's verbal objection to having my humble deer (or is it an elk! or an emu! who gives a shit!) rammed into their face, i would say that many people do not love Gloat-- - (Talk/ ) 19:16, 13 July 2008 (UTC) :::::::Check the talk page of Gloat. (btw, it's not an elk, it's not a deer, it's not an emu. It's a Hertje. ) --- -- (s)talkpage 20:00, 13 July 2008 (UTC) ::::::::Checking the talkpage of Gloat did not reveal anything of any great relevance or interest, and what the fork is a Hertje!?-- - (Talk/ ) 18:29, 14 July 2008 (UTC) :::::::::It's Dutch for deer (if the translator at the local museum is to be believed). — Powersurge360Violencia 18:32, 14 July 2008 (UTC) ::::::::::Translators at local museums are not to be trusted...-- - (Talk/ ) 18:33, 14 July 2008 (UTC) :::::::::::Hertje is a small Deer, yes. But Hertje sounds better than Deer. Anyhow, Gloat's talkpage is spammed with "I wub dis shiz ^jo" but without the crappy language. --- -- (s)talkpage 19:47, 14 July 2008 (UTC) ::::::::::::Well done viper, you have earned yourself a place on my quotes page, to be immortalised forever. Which is good cos its the closest to immortality you'll ever get-- - (Talk/ ) 19:50, 14 July 2008 (UTC) Insert controversy here or just scheme crazily. things are too quiet, and not in a cliché'd "its quiet....too quiet" way either-- - (Talk/ ) 19:47, 14 July 2008 (UTC) :Politics. Run away! Run away! We're all doomed if this topic continues! [[user:Entrea|'Entrea']] [Talk] 20:02, 14 July 2008 (UTC) ::Lol, well done Entrea - "religion" and "national predjudices" would also have done :) Though i was rather hoping that someone might come along and accuse me of attempting to incite wiki drama....thus ironically inciting some wiki drama, but it was not to be :(-- - (Talk/ ) 18:23, 15 July 2008 (UTC) :::Hey you. Quit inciting stuff. >:O 18:25, 15 July 2008 (UTC) ::::Shut up before i incite YOU!-- - (Talk/ ) 18:26, 15 July 2008 (UTC) :::::What's the name of that Tenacious D song where Jack and Kyle incite a nuclear war and take over the world? I want to say City Hall. 18:28, 15 July 2008 (UTC) ::::::Hmmm...nope, I'll have to er, ask the audience on that one :|-- - (Talk/ ) 18:34, 15 July 2008 (UTC) :::::::The audience doesn't know. --- -- (s)talkpage 18:35, 15 July 2008 (UTC)n ::::::::Phone a friend?-- - (Talk/ ) 18:36, 15 July 2008 (UTC) :::::::::What's a "friend"? *gasp* --- -- (s)talkpage 18:48, 15 July 2008 (UTC) ::::::::::What's a phone!?-- - (Talk/ ) 18:49, 15 July 2008 (UTC) :::::::::::Maybe it's related to the object known as a..... oh god how do I spell it.... record player...? (sp?) --Gimmethegepgun 18:51, 15 July 2008 (UTC) ::::::::::::Where is the phone shop? 18:51, 15 July 2008 (UTC) :::::::::::::Would this cause an EC? --- -- (s)talkpage 18:53, 15 July 2008 (UTC) ::::::::::::::BASTARD! Yes! And er, did some references just fly over my head, cos i could swear that they did-- - (Talk/ ) 18:54, 15 July 2008 (UTC) :::::::::::::::I was gonna say 56k modem, but record players are funnier --Gimmethegepgun 18:56, 15 July 2008 (UTC) Important Wiki Demographics Poll In your experience, roughly what percentage of new users actually respond to "Hi, welcome to the wiki..." type welcome messages? 100% 90% 80% 70% 60% 50% 40% 30% 20% 10% 0% -10% -- - (Talk/ ) 18:44, 17 July 2008 (UTC) :Why don't you do research to get hard data? The welcome messages and potential replies are out there, you just need to look them up. --◄mendel► 22:30, 17 July 2008 (UTC) ::Lol, im not seriously interested in 'hard data' - simply i've welcomed countless users to the wiki before and as far as i can remember only about 3 ever replied. It seems strange to register an account, make a couple of contribs and then disapear - why not just edit that one typo as an anon IP :S-- - (Talk/ ) 18:08, 18 July 2008 (UTC) :::I think that most people respond to the giant orange banner (60-70%) but I voted for -10% because it's funny (and because someone forgot 42%). [[user:Entrea|'Entrea']] [Talk] 18:29, 18 July 2008 (UTC) ::::Bah, if i ever can be bothered i will present a list of user talk links to prove the point im trying to make, even if it is contradicted by everyone else's experiences. And yes, sorry about that glaring ommision, i also forgot 1337%; 9000% and, if 42 is the ultimate answer....what is the ultimate question (win some more 'points'..er...yes)-- - (Talk/ ) 18:24, 19 July 2008 (UTC) :::::9000 won't cut it. It needs to be OVER NINETHOUSAAAAAND!!!1 --- -- (s)talkpage 18:27, 19 July 2008 (UTC) :Argh! Cobalt, u done forked it up! I see the results before I click on the "click here to see the results link." And why does that link direct to the main page? Havoc (Talk| ) 03:02, 24 July 2008 (UTC) ::You always see the results before voting (also, Cobalt, up there, "what is the ultimate question" → The Answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything. Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. You were keeping scores, right? ) --- -- (s)talkpage 03:04, 24 July 2008 (UTC) :::Er...yes...scores...thats what i'm doing. And that isn't actually the answer i was looking for - the true ultimate question is later revealed thus providing an explanation of the answer 42 - no points...for j00 (rhymes). And hello Havoc, good to see (so to speak) you :P-- - (Talk/ ) 18:19, 24 July 2008 (UTC) ::::I've seen the movie, and the only other Question was "How many roads must a man walk down in life?". Oh, and some mathematical questions (14*3, 21*2, 6*7 and such). So, I'm stumped :P --- -- (s)talkpage 19:16, 24 July 2008 (UTC) :::::Ah, the movie, thats shite. I always assume anyone referencing 42 has read the books. Since you don't know i won't reveal it because that way you will remain faintly curious for awhile :P-- - (Talk/ ) 18:02, 25 July 2008 (UTC) Wiki Buddha's While randomly looking for userboxes to steal, i came across this hilarious quote from entropy at the top of RH's userpage "Sometimes to do what you feel is right requires sacrifices." - if i could be bothered, I'd love to find the original context, but i can't. However, it did give me a wonderful idea for another hugely productive use of my talkpage - especially since I have a quotes section in my userspace myself. I think it would be great if people would use this section to post ridiculously pretentious profound type statements which i can then immortalise on my quotes page :) The kind of thing some games like to stick on their loading screens to make them seem more intellectual (call of duty and rome total war (in which, amusingly, you could edit the quotes in a notepad file to produce such timeless wisdoms as "Egyptions r gay lulx - Latin Proverb") spring to mind) or that people take out of context from religious books to make it look like jesus supports their plan to reduce health benefits or something. A quick look at wikiquote reveals some incredibly profound statements such as: "One beetle recognises another" - Irish Proverb...wonderful "The mouse is silent while laboring, but when the baby is conceived, she cries." - Ethiopian Proverb....erm...righto. Any ideas?-- - (Talk/ ) 18:31, 25 July 2008 (UTC) :Assuming good faith is only possible if you have any faith in mankind to begin with. --◄mendel► 19:05, 25 July 2008 (UTC) ::Quit mumbling like an old lady who missed a bargain on edible worms! 20:24, 25 July 2008 (UTC) :::Why Cobalt? Why not some other transition metal? (And theres always my comment on becoming a murderer in the Acorns page :P) PossessedLinebeck 23:26, 25 July 2008 (UTC) ::::We discussed this before, but I got bored of looking for it after his first archive. Cobalt just entered random cool-sounding elements into the registration box until he found one that wasn't taken. 23:43, 25 July 2008 (UTC) :::::Well I wasnt a member of the wiki at that time..so I wouldn't know :P PossessedLinebeck 23:53, 25 July 2008 (UTC) ::::::Which is precisely why I was relating it for your enlightenment. :o 23:55, 25 July 2008 (UTC) :::::::It's completely impossible to enlighten me. I am just to endarkened. Thanks for trying though X3 PossessedLinebeck 23:58, 25 July 2008 (UTC) ::::::::Incredible, still no complaints of talkpages being used for things with no real value to the wiki. And now i have some dalai-lamaisms to add to my quotes page :) and ye, all my normal internet pseudonyms were taken so i had this wonderful idea of typing "periodic table" into google images and putting the names in until i found one that wasn't taken. I actually have another element named account that i havent contributted on cause i was expecting the name to be taken when i hit register, and when it wasn't i didnt want to be stuck with such an awful name :P So ye - cobalt it is :)-- - (Talk/ ) 18:26, 28 July 2008 (UTC) :::::::::Was that before or after Cobalt? --◄mendel► 19:05, 28 July 2008 (UTC) ::::::::::Errr, before - i only found out about that later. I was quite suprised when i typed 'cobalt' into search to see what would happen and that came up :P I still think Anet stole my name though - dam time travellers that they are-- - (Talk/ ) 19:10, 28 July 2008 (UTC) :::::::::So would your other account possibly be Argon/Argon? That's the only element I can think of that one might expect someone else to have already claimed, but still think of as "awful" for oneself to use. —Dr Ishmael 20:14, 28 July 2008 (UTC) ::::::::::Original context was from Entropy's talk page. I personally like this one, from Thief II: "He who learns only what others know is as ignorant as if he learns nothing. The treasures of knowledge are most rare, and guarded most harshly. -- Chronicle of the First Age" —''The preceding unsigned comment was added by'' RavynousHunter ( ) }. :::::::::::no, it's not Argon - though it does begin with A *assumes cryptic expression* I also suppose it means that, if i can remember the password, i technically have a sock-puppet...oh noes!-- - (Talk/ ) 12:29, 31 July 2008 (UTC) ::::::::::::Ah, didn't realize it would warn you that an account wasn't registered if tried to edit a non-existant userpage. So then it must have been User:Arsenic? —Dr Ishmael 13:44, 31 July 2008 (UTC) :::::::::::::Nope, my element is non-toxic....i think. It vapourises at low temperatures and is a brittle, fusible crystaline solid, which, apparently, is a poor electrical conductor. And i've been away btw, i don't just have incredibly slow reaction times :P (just like my element! do you see what i did there!?)-- - (Talk/ ) 10:58, 13 August 2008 (UTC) Erm, i guess this isn't good But what does it mean, exactly?-- - (Talk/ ) 12:26, 31 July 2008 (UTC) :Wikia is slow the slave needs to catch up - so it shuts down whilst it syncs - probably back very soon RandomTime 12:28, 31 July 2008 (UTC) ::Hmm ok, it seems when i make edits they take a good few minutes after succesfully saving the page to actually appear, either on the page or the history - it's like the guild chat delay that sometimes happens in GW - im talking to the future :/-- - (Talk/ ) 12:31, 31 July 2008 (UTC) :::Ever noticed the insane lagg? Well, when Wikia is lagging, it means the Slave server is behind. And then you got a fat chance the DB is locked over and ver again. When the Slave server is behind, edits are indeed registered much slower. Sometimes up to 5 minutes. And then it thinks "OMG WTF I can't keep up stop iiiiittt!! :O :O :O" and it locks the database. --- -- (s)talkpage 12:41, 31 July 2008 (UTC) ::::So that must be why it was lagging a lot earlier. --Macros 12:54, 31 July 2008 (UTC) :::::And lagging right now... --Macros 12:58, 31 July 2008 (UTC) ::::::Fun times with Wikia. Too bad they're no fun at all :< --- -- (s)talkpage 13:00, 31 July 2008 (UTC) :::::::/agree 19:51, 31 July 2008 (UTC) ::::::::Well, it's probably a combination deal: the Monaco sidebar asks for the RC and maybe Watchlist, placing more load on the server, but the ads (and the lag) drive away users, so it probably evens out in the end. --◄mendel► 22:45, 31 July 2008 (UTC) :::::::::If by "evens out" you mean "everyone loses," then yes. 22:48, 31 July 2008 (UTC) ::::::::::Wasn't that Wikia's initial aim in the first place? At least for GuildWiki...? Personally, I think Wikia's a conspiracy headed by EA and Blizzard to defame ANet and NCSoft because they make games that are actually worth a damn. That and NC has Richard Garriott, which probably pisses off EA quite a bit. talk 04:34, 1 August 2008 (UTC) :::::::::::Doesn't wowwiki have the ads, too? --◄mendel► 07:32, 1 August 2008 (UTC) ::::::::::::That's obviously a ploy to throw off suspicion. --Macros 09:23, 1 August 2008 (UTC) :::::::::::::Someone needs to go over there and refresh the Main Page until it shows a Guild Wars ad. 09:31, 1 August 2008 (UTC) ::::::::::::::Only one I've ever seen that would be an "ad" in the most round-about, half-assed sense of the term would be the one that links to this website. talk 10:33, 1 August 2008 (UTC) I am returned And wow, after 2 weeks away the cookie that keeps me logged in had expired. God, the new wiki skin is ugly!-- - (Talk/ ) 11:01, 13 August 2008 (UTC) :I think the correct phrase is "I have returned." Now you say "Make use of me." Bonus points if you can spot the reference. (T/ ) 11:06, 13 August 2008 (UTC) ::This is one of those times when im sufficiently awake to realise im missing something but sufficiently tired to be unable to work out what it is. With a degree of trepidation i typed "Make use of me" into google and the first thing to come up was "subscriber only content for Jeremy Treglown" OMG! REFERENCE! *gets coat*-- - (Talk/ ) 11:11, 13 August 2008 (UTC) :::StarCraft was mine; yours is The Fast Show. "I'll get me coat." Nice. (T/ ) 11:13, 13 August 2008 (UTC) ::::Actually, that wasn't specifically meant as a fast show reference, but im amazed that someone else on the internet has actually watched the fast show xD "...The most sacred of these rites, was kicking the school rabbit in the face..." ah, timeless :P-- - (Talk/ ) 11:20, 13 August 2008 (UTC) :::::It's great to find someone else who knows what I am talking about :) And I have a treat for you. If you need any explanation of terms or references or such, just ask, though of course it's less funny that way. Trust me, if you have played the game (as I have), this is completely hilarious... ---- I guess most people have watched the famous British comedy show, The Fast Show. However, not many know that Paul Whitehouse, one of the creators and actors in the series, also played Icesus in his spare time! Yes, it's true. And he liked the game so much, he planned to do an Icesus Special Episode for the Fast Show. This idea was eventually discarded, as not too many would have understood that episode. Luckily, the manuscript to that show wasn't deleted. So here it is: the manuscript for The Fast Show - The Icesus Special Episode! ---------------------------------- "This week, I 'ave been mostly eating raw chunks of rat meat." "Right, to cast a missile of magic one has to wave one's hands thus and intone 'raketa mjatsik' in a deep voice. Wave, intone 'raketa mjatsik'. Right, that's ok." Aquail: "Hello, Aquail here. Today I'll be teach.. ahem.. sorry, today I'll be.. hrmh.. I'll be teaching you.. *cough*.. about cast.. hrmh *cough*..casting a miss.. *cough* hrmh *cough* miss.. *COUGH* *cough* miss..*COUGH COUGH COUGH* Aquail: "Sorry. As I was saying, today I'll be teaching you how to cast a missile of magic. Now, you just wave your hand like this.. Aquail: "Oh dear." Aquail: "Do you think I'll have to take that again, Zseez?" Zsezz: "Arzzse!" "Hi. I'm Dwydran." Dwarf: "Welcome to That's Amazing with me Cal Hooper. This week we hear Vitalsword telling about a horrible monstah he saw." "So tell me about the monstah?" Vital: "I was walking on the road...it was a cold, black night...The people say the forest is haunted, you know." Dwarf: "Cut the crap, now tell me about the monstah." Vital: "It was a Gha'raphoel-Turdak, as the orcs call it. You know, half bird, half snake and half human. I recognized it right away." Dwarf: "So what did it look like?" Vital: "I don't know, it was invisible." Dwarf: "What do you mean invisible??" Vital: "I didn't see it, but it made a horrible noise, I've never been so scared in my life." Dwarf: "It was like a loud 'RRRRROOOOOAR', right?" Vital: "No, I didn't hear a thing. It was completely silent." Dwarf: "Silent?! It did leave huge footsteps on the ground, like a buffalo?" Vital: "Nope, it was hovering." Dwarf: "Hovering!?! You can't be serious? Now get of my show!!" Vital: "But it was real! I've been too scared to walk in the woods since then, I..." Dwarf: "Rrrright." <...throws the piece of wood away...> "On the next week's show we have Ereldon telling about the things he has seen happening in Vaerlon." "This week, I 'ave been mostly wearing iron armors." Ceanna: "Good day, sir. May I enquire as to sir's condition today?" Mortal: "Oh, I'm fine, I guess." Mortal: "Uh...and you?" Ceanna: "Radiant, sir, radiant! Now, what is sir looking for? Something to protect from damage, I presume. Something large and hard, that covers all vital bodyparts?" Mortal: "Eh, yes, I was thinking about a steel cuirass..." Ceanna: "Oh! A steel cuirass, suit you sir! Very fashionable at the moment, all the highbies wear one. A cuirass like this will make sir a wanted member to any party. Does sir often take part in a party?" Mortal: "Yeah, I try to as often as possible..." Ceanna: "And the other members, they WANT sir? To join the fun with them?" Mortal: "Hmm, eh, well yes..." Ceanna: "Oh! Suit you, sir! Anything else for sir. Perhaps some leather tights? Great fun in parties." Mortal: "No, I don't think..." Danton: "Oh! Leather tights! I can sell sir a whip, if sir wants. Would go well with sir's leather tights." Mortal: "I don't..." Ceanna: "Leather whips are great, sir. Oh! Does sir like to dress in a steel cuirass and leather tights and whip people?" Danton: "Does sir like it when they moan when you whip them. Do they moan like this: 'Ooooh. Yeeees! Aaaah!'" Ceanna: "'Yeeees! Whip me, big boy, whip me!'" Danton & Ceanna: "Oh! Suit you, sir! Oh!" Ceanna: "Sir forgot his cuirass! Oh well, I already took the money from him. Oh! Suits me!" Mage: "Did you find the priest or bandages?" Man : "No, but I found something MUCH better!" Man: "Instead I found this great silver helmet, a brand new set of flint and steel and a nether torch!" "So, after intense studies under meditation heightened by eating those mushrooms which glow strangely, I realized that the thinnest leather armour actually is impenetrable if you stand so that the blows hit it at the correct angle. I tested it on Dave, and he didn't complain once. He even seems to still be asleep. Wild, man. I will now demonstrate how this works in practice. I think you will find the results interesting. Gnome: "This is Di'Shar, who will assist me in this experiment. Now, when he hits me, note how this simple leather jacket will reflect his blow, since I will be standing in an optimum angle to maximize the jacket's effect. Please strike me, Di'Shar." Highbie1: "Yeah, so my party was all exhausted, but we just gritted our teeth and didn't mind the pain. With our last strength, we managed to kill the ten remaining giants. There was blood up to our ankles, I can tell you." Highbie2: "I remember once, I was fighting these two b'rogh warriors. I stuck my sword through the neck of one, making it go down in a shower of blood. My sword got stuck, though, so I charged the second b'rogh head-on and ripped his stomach open with my teeth, chewing my way through his guts. The b'rogh screamed in pain and fell down, slowly dying." Highbie3: "That reminds me of the time I slaughtered an entire village of trolls using just my nails to claw them with!" Highbie4: "I remember one time when I was in that forest far north of here. As I was walking around, looking for something to kill, I suddenly came upon this little, cute rabbit. It looked at me with big, fearful eyes, looking so cute that I just has to pet it. Its fur was very soft" Highbie4: "...I'll get me coat." "You ain't seen me, right?" Leprechaun: "Hi. I'm Dwydran." Young: "So, are we going to kill some monsters to get some experience, then?" Old: "Don't be in a hurry. These things take time. You cannot just go out there and kill the first monster you see, this is like its own whole form of art." Young: "Really? Tell me about it." Old: "You see, killing monsters is very much like making love to a beautiful woman. You've got to find the right subject, then prepare your weapons and check your protection. Then you go in, jabbing and thrusting towards the critical spots, and using the best maneuvers you can until it's all over and you are exhausted while the subject just lies there on its back." Young: "I've never thought about it like that before." Old: "You will learn yet." Young: "Hey, a monster! Let's kill it!" Old: "No, I have a headache." "And then, as I pressed the button to open the secret door, it bugged and gave me 10M exp instead. I reported it, and the admins said I could keep the exp, and gave me 500 PDF for the report." "Which was nice." "Hi, and welcome to 'That's Amazing'. Today we have several interesting guests, and we will tell you about even more amazing things than last week's three-headed orc and the newbie who actually read the helpdocuments and found the answer to her question there. First guest today is an old acquaintance, Ereldon. Welcome, Ereldon!" Dwarf: "So, Ereldon, what amazing thing are you here to tell us about?" Ereldon: "Well, you see, I was standing there on the Central Square as usual, where I stand all day, you know, on the Central Square, and as I was standing there on the Central Square, as I usually do all day, listening to people whine, whine, that's all they can do, whine all day, everybody, I can't stand it really, all day I stand there on the Central Square and people just come there to whine..." Dwarf: "Heh, yes, thank you Ereldon, we all sympathize with you. However, you were here to tell about something amazing?" Ereldon: "Hmm yes, well you see, as I was standing on the Central Square one day, as I usually do all day, and listened to people whine constantly, whine whine whine, while I was standing there on Central Square.." Ereldon: "..yes, as I was saying, as I was standing there in Central Square as I do all day, listening..." Ereldon: "..this adventurer walked by!" Dwarf: "That's it? One would think many adventurers walk by the Central Square each day." Ereldon: "Yes, but you see, this is the most amazing thing, this one had ONLY ONE HEAD!" Dwarf: "We all do." Ereldon: "What?" Dwarf (impatiently): "Have just one head." Ereldon: "What? Oh. Hmm. Darn, I am confusing heads and legs again. Heh. Well, nothing then, really." Dwarf: "Well, I'm sure our next guest will be more rewarding." "Like, NOT A COMPLETE IDIOT!" "Here's our second guest, an admin with a truly amazing tale!" Dwarf: "Oh! Heh. Always scary when you do that. Now, what is your amazing tale?" Admin: "Right. I was tuning things one day, as mortals seemed to be getting experience..." Dwarf: "Yes, very bad for the balance if they get too much too easily." Admin: "I didn't say they were getting much or getting it easily." Admin: "Anyway, I had just finished the tune and informed the mortals that they would be getting significantly less experience with more work now. And they all say, 'We understand your decision. Good work!'" Dwarf: "No-one whined?!" Admin: "Nope." Dwarf: "That's ridiculous! Are you telling me you were trying to balance the game and no mortal whined? I mean, this is 'That's Amazing', but we don't believe EVERYTHING, especially not something as preposterous as that! Get off my show!" Admin: "But.." Dwarf: "Shut up! Get off! Shoo!" Dwarf: "Where do these nutcases come from? Anyway, next week..." Female: "Does my bum look big in this?" ---- (T/ ) 11:42, 13 August 2008 (UTC) :Lol'd. That's quite awesome :> I do wish that second episode of "That's Amazing" would come true for us, though. --- -- (s)talkpage 16:17, 13 August 2008 (UTC) ::ROFL! well done entropy xD - and oh dear, my page has suddenly shot from about half archive size to well over archive size in one post. *sigh*-- - (Talk/ ) 18:10, 13 August 2008 (UTC)